“Blessed are the poor in spirit…”
Definitions: blessed: God’s favor – His Divine strength
poor: destitute, spiritually lacking, beggarly
spirit: wind, breath
How many times have I held the broken pieces of my dreams in my hands and wondered at its meaning? How many times have I felt the pain stabbing my heart as the questions swirl around me? Where is my Defender in the face of the Injustice? The drone of the waiting room of unanswered prayer is deafening. What is the answer to the hole in my heart from a loss that can never be replaced?
What is the greater meaning? Has my desperation, the place of my acute awareness of my lack, my poverty, been the vehicle that has driven me to look for Him?
Is this His “gift” to me wrapped in brown paper to that I will look deeper to find Him? Are the scars on my heart the road map to His?
It is in our nature to be dependent. God created that in each one of us so that we will be dependent on Him. “God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though his is not far from each of us.” Acts 17:27 (For my Bible scholar friends, I know this is a little out of context but go with me on this. Isn’t cool to think that God ordains times and seasons so that we will “perhaps” reach out for him?)
It is so sad that in our ignorance that we filter through our fallen nature and instead become “co-dependent” on others or worse, climb up on our pedestal to be “independent.”
When we have an eternal perspective of our place of brokenness, we can see how the pain and suffering are actually a gift from God so that we will lean into Him.
Jesus, the pain of my broken dreams overwhelms my heart.
My strength has been depleted.
From this place of brokenness, I cry out to You.
Let me see that the deprived place of my spirit
is really a blessing, an opportunity for You to come and be with me.
A Song from the Mountain:
“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
#2 Ponderings from the Sermon on the Mount. For the next blog in this series, go to “What is the Kingdom of Heaven?”